This is where I would usually give a disclaimer of sorts, letting you know that my blog is usually not political, that I am not angry, (except this one time) and that here you will find only humorous anecdotes or videos about my missteps and trials as I scratch and claw my way up in Hollywood. I have hesitated to write about “touchy” racial issues because let’s face it, no one wants to be “that” black person. No one wants to find themselves in the sticky position of trying to make sense of the world we live in and wondering if you should give up driving all together, while a well-meaning white person is pontificating about reverse racism and non-existent white privilege.
But today I can’t do that. I have zero fucks to give about people who are annoyed when they hear that “black lives matter.” Guess what? Black people are tired of having to say that we do. We’re tired of being hashtags and quickly forgotten statistics. The week isn’t even over and already Alton Sterling has been murdered, Philando Castile has been murdered and this morning an as yet unidentified black man was found hanging in Piedmont Park in Atlanta. The police want to rule it as a suicide, even though members of the KKK were passing out flyers in the area the night before. Also, how do you hang yourself from a tree?
I am honestly more afraid of police than actual criminals, terrorists, natural disasters and the Zika virus. I hate making sweeping generalizations of any group but I can’t un-see these images in the news. I can’t un-experience all of the negative interactions I’ve had with police and other white people in my own life. I’m incapable of feeling a sense of ease when my father or brother are travelling, because you can die for having a broken taillight. You can die for being in the wrong place, even if it’s your own car or your home.
I’m not an advocate of violence or extremism, but it’s clear that diplomacy isn't working. Something serious has to happen because systematic slaughter is not acceptable. And slaughter is what it is. If anyone else shoots someone armed or otherwise, it’s called a murder. Saying “police shooting” is too polite. It’s too sanitary, and implies that it is justifiable.
All lives matter- Orlando lives, Newtown lives, Boston lives, 9/11 lives- they all matter, but none of those horrific incidents change the fact that black people, particularly men are being arbitrarily targeted and killed. I tried to make sense of the extreme silliness of racism earlier today and I simply couldn’t do it. It would be just as logical to hate short people or gingers or people who are colorblind. Ridiculous, right? You would think that in the twenty-first century, the descendants of people who were kidnapped, forced to build an infrastructure that they largely are barred from benefitting from through systematic disenfranchisement that includes the denial of loans, being refused jobs, housing discrimination and otherwise being discouraged from building wealth, would at least not be used for target practice by a government-protected institution that hides behind a badge.
I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to be bitter, but I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes, wondering what the next logical step is. Being “woke” on Twitter is not enough. Wearing t-shirts is not enough. Being a generation of hashtags and bitcoins and all manner of ethereal currency is cute and all, but something needs to be done. I would say that “I literally can’t even” with this current situation, but you know who actually can’t even? All the people of color who have been victims of police brutality. It has to stop. I’m tired of being tired. Enough is enough.