Thursday, November 17, 2011

They (One Person) Like Me, They Really Like Me…

Published 11/17/2011

Guess what, I’m still not famous, which means I’m still traipsing about the Thirty Mile Zone attempting to meet people who will take an interest in my (nonexistent) career and set me on a path that will hopefully include a SAG card, and if I play my cards right, Oscars, stints in rehab and embarrassing DUIs. Anywho, in a strange twist of fate, I managed to convince someone to accompany me on my latest Hollywood adventure… and they didn’t back out at the last minute! Something strange must be in the water.
I decided that I should visit the Library Bar at the Roosevelt because Yelp told me it was a good idea and because the location is actually not horrible. I mean anytime you can walk outside and see a bum, a celebrity, a drunk adult dressed as Spiderman, and a hooker within five feet of each other, you’re in a #winning atmosphere my friend.
Unlike most of my previous outings I didn’t have time  for insult tweeting because I was actually engaged in conversation, but even if I hadn’t been, I’m almost disappointed to say that there was nothing to insult. Library Bar may literally be the size of my studio, but what it lacks in floor space, it makes up for in ambiance and also by having the BEST DRINKS EVER!!! So, I’m probably sort of late on this but OMG- I think the bartenders have magical ingredients, and magical tumblers and magical ice cubes and magical hands, seriously. All I said was that I wanted something sweet, with no dark liquor and then he waved a magic wand and handed me the most awesome drink of my WHOLE LIFE! Like, is there some sort of Nobel Peace Prize for Mixology  that can be awarded here? I feel like I should make a Library Bar PSA because everyone should go there. Everyone.
Anyways, even though I didn’t mingle with anyone other than the person I came with, I don’t think I missed out on too much last night. There were no more than 20 people inside at any given moment, mostly because the place is so small, but I noted that there was a pretty consistent influx of certain prototypes: Drunken Socialite in Her Thirties with Too Much Botox, TV Producer Who Hasn’t worked Since 05 Talking Very Loudly, Hapless Midwestern Girls About to Find Out That Sleeping Their Way to the Top Probably Won’t Work, Hipster Hotel Guests Who Live in LA but Stay at the Roosevelt for Kicks, Hollywood Douchebags Complimenting Each Other’s Ryan Seacrest-Like Hair, and a few Starving Artists Trying to Look Important.
Aside from losing my car in the parking garage and forgetting to validate my ticket for said garage, this little excursion actually went rather well. Now if only I could find that soda shop where producers still walk up to bright-eyed ingénues and say things like “Hey little lady, anybody ever toldja, ya got a face fer the pictures? I’m gonna make you a star…(Insert finger guns, cheek pinching and a wink)” to which I would reply “Gee Mister, a star?” Hey, If it could happen in the 40s, it could happen today…
Venue: 5
Alcohol Situation: 5 (AWESOME!)
Actual Beneficial Networking Achieved: 1
Personal Victory/Dignity Retained: 5
Atmosphere: #winning


  1. your definitlely a story teller : )

  2. Entertaining doesn't even describe this.

    four thumbs up!!!

  3. I must try this place sometime.