Friday, October 28, 2011

This is What Happens When Parking in Weho...

Published 10/28/2011

It’s me again, your friendly neighborhood aspiring screenwriter/actress (Please hire me! Just kidding, but really, hire me!) Sorry about that guys. So anywho, my next failed networking attempt takes place at Skybar, right in the heart of the hell that is the West Hollywood parking situation. As per usual I have to brief you on how I ended up flying solo on this one.
As a subscriber to one of the best websites ever,Infolist, I was stoked to see that there was going to be a post-Toronto networking shindig, similar to the post-Cannes soiree that I attended in June. My last experience at Skybar was actually not a failure, one because I had just returned from Cannes and had relevant things to add to conversations and two, I was  there with people. This go ‘round however was  a little different. The sad thing is that I actually had two confirmed “Yes Lydia we are going with you to Skybar” texts and about a half dozen probablys, which everyone knows is almost as good as gold in Hollywood. So anyway, cut to me sitting in the garage on La Cienega BBMing Judas, I mean my friends, to find out how much longer it was going to take them to park. To make a long story short, they said that they didn’t want to pay twelve dollars to park and that they would catch me next time. Sigh. I was in a bit of a pickle, having already paid  and finding myself left alone on the verge of what would turn out to be (unsurprisingly) a very awkward two hours.
And  about these friends- I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anyone who is not a tourist, who has lived in LA for more than a month who would actually believe that they could find street parking near the Mondrian after 4 PM. A good parking spot in Weho is an anomaly at best and I really have a hard time believing that “We couldn’t find parking” wasn’t just a clever way of saying, “We are nowhere near Sunset and had no intentions of coming.” We’ll never know. So back to me, sitting in my car trying to convince everyone I know to join me on another fateful outing. It didn’t work and when I got to the woman at the door, even she took the time to poke fun at my solitude. “Lydia, it says plus two here.” “Yeah, but my friends decided not to come so…” “So minus two then,” she said with glee. Things like this only happen to me.
Luckily for me, I was familiar with the layout of Skybar so I proceeded directly to the bar- at least I could walk there with purpose, like maybe I was meeting someone or something. After ordering my Stella Artois I proceeded to mingle, and by mingle I mean hover around groups of people whose friends had not bailed on them and pray that I would see someone I know. (That was a rather illogical prayer, as all of the people I know had expressly told me that they would definitely NOT be at Skybar that night.) I quickly upped the ante to “Important-looking texting” and was encouraged by my friends to go flirt with people. Let’s stop right there. Flirting and approaching men is something that I don’t do, the same way that starting conversations at networking events is something I don’t do, mostly because I suck at it. Also, I look like I’m twelve, so I usually get the “shouldn’t you be in bed sideways glance.” I have seen people literally restraining themselves from patting me on the head more than once. At one point during the night I did sit sort of close to someone I was thinking about maybe speaking to, but I quickly abandoned that idea when an indiscriminately unattractive girl sat on his lap. Minus three for me.
This encouraged me to make another circle around the pool, but my circle sort of turned into an arc when I decided to monopolize one of the heat lamps. It was actually a strategic move though, as I had a perfect view of the girl who decided to get into the pool in her dress. Why do people still think that’s cool? At this point I had pretty much decided to leave, but I was approached by a gentleman with a hightop fade (no sir) which resulted in a fun little interview  . How many people did I actually speak to that night, not counting the bartender? Two. Maybe I’m the problem.
EVENING SCORECARD:
Venue: 5
Alcohol Situation: 3 (You will wait for ages.)
Actual Beneficial Networking Achieved:1 (Are you sure I can’t count the bartender?)
Personal Victory/Dignity Retained: 2
Atmosphere: #winning                

1 comment:

  1. totally awesome interview with Motown Maurice

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